west for winter*

life lesson number 1,246

2007-01-10T18:46:00.000-06:00

Never put a metal bowl in the microwave

how do you measure a year?

2007-01-01T22:54:00.000-06:00

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?

In the years to come, whenever I think of 2006, I will always think of:

Getting jiggy at Jason and Cindy's wedding long after the bride and groom, and all the other guests, had left.

Tales about blue roses

Faking accents at Chilis

The Texas Instrument Massacre

The crazy biker dude who wanted to dance with me at The Gypsy-Was that this year? I don't know, but it's still funny.

Nathan's winter olympics party, where I competed in the ice skating relay race with a sprained ankle.

Marshmallows, coke, and Roxanne.

Maui Maui: Emilio Estevez...The Mighty Ducks guy!"

Busting out the doors and into the rain after completing my last final

Graduating college, finally!!

Crying all the way to Fayetteville the day I moved out of my parent's house

The intense loneliness that first week in Fayetteville because Terra and Nicole were both in Mexico, and I was home all alone :-(

Being freaked out that same week because of all the scary noises I would hear at night, plus one morning I woke up and my toilet seat was all of the sudden up??

Being woken up in the very early morning when the girls finally got home. Oh the joy! Imagine the three of us jumping up and down and talking spastically all at the same time. It was like we hadn't seen each other for a decade.

Our white trash housewarming party and the Christmas lights we just now took down

Nicole, Terra, and I secretly leaving random presents on the doorsteps of friends.

The canoe trip that turned out to be one of the most miserable days of (I think all of our) lives

Chinese fire drills on College Ave.

Terra and I hiding from the crazy liquid cleaner sales lady

Chick-fil-a/The Office Thursdays

Intra-dares..."God bless America!"

Attempting to play tennis in the suffocating August heat

The afternoons spent in Nathan's pool

The summer nights spent on the patio of La Huerta...including the night where I tried to make someone feel stupid and completely missed my straw...therefore making myself feel pretty stupid.

Getting inside the wrong car after watching Lady in the Water and not realizing it until a couple minutes later when I heard Lafe yelling "Christina, you're in the wrong car!" And then having to hear about it for the next month

The awkwardness after Little Ms. Sunshine

Pulling into the wrong lane towards oncoming traffic

Frolicking in the things that shoot water out of the ground at Six Flags with Bobby, Eric, and a bunch of little kids...and then slipping and falling on my bum.

Turkish rap

Two car wrecks

One parking ticket

My amazing community group

Meeting Craig, Esther, Bobby, Eric, Jessica, Leslie, Shane, Jason, Blake...

El barrrrrco

Rugby watch parties

Girl breakfasts

Family drama

The Esther/Christina dance off...I'm still waiting for round two by the way!

Sugar neighbors

Terra and I looking for every opportunity to scare the beegeebies out of each other

Being the recipient of a ding dong ditch

Sucking on lemons

Hide and seek and sardines

Never have I ever, the winking game, the question game...

The emancipation of Kiki

Ultra egos

Singing Garth Brooks every time we drove to/through Oklahoma

The tornado warning on our way back from Tulsa

Falling off my bike right in front of our house

Singing 80s power ballads with the guy at Seven Hills

Winning a prize on the radio and forgetting what station I was listening to

Days at Gully Park reading under the weeping willow and making shapes out of the clouds

Big Booty, Big Booty, Big Booty, oh yeah! Big Booty!

Learning life without cable really isn't too bad afterall.

Carbon monoxide poisoning

The creepy neighbors across the street

Ending my ten year fast from beef and pork

Camping in below freezing weather

My rock star birthday party

spontaneous dance parties

Singing "Where is your boy" over and over and over in the car

Terra's Shakira impression

My old lady voice

"Thaaaaat's preposterous! I don't sound like that at all!"

"Cracka whaaaaaat? Cracka, please."

Prank phone calls

Attending what I think may have been a cult meeting

Show and tell

marshmallow fights

Spending an afternoon with a bunch of meanies while waiting in line to see Dashboard Confessional and Brand New

Accidentally spitting my blow pop out at an unsuspecting girl in that same line

Chris Caraba's cheesy hand gestures

Death Cab for Cutie and Pete Yorn

It taking Nicole, Terra, myself, and a pair of pliers to open a bottle of coke

The ugly Christmas sweater party

Spontaneously going Christmas caroling in the rain with Shane and Kendall and getting invited inside a random person's home for chocolate and a surprisingly lovely conversation.

Belting out cheesy songs and dancing in the car

Scavenger hunts at the mall...can you say woo pig sooie?

And a thousand other moments that I'll always remember so fondly...I cannot wait to see what exciting adventures 2007 will bring.

Cheers!

tada!

2006-11-19T22:48:00.000-06:00

I can't believe how big my niece is getting! She'll be three next month, but it only seems like yesterday when I was in the hospital room as she made her triumphent debut! She's a bit fiesty and hard to handle at times...just like her mom, haha. But I love her so much!!

we were that crazy

2006-11-13T21:54:00.000-06:00

Today I was thinking about this time in high school where Terra and I decided to form a band called On the Kob (with a backwards K) and we were going to headline a festival called Corn Stalk. It made me laugh. A lot.

rapid hope loss

2006-11-08T03:32:00.000-06:00

i can't sleep :-(

mirror, mirror

2006-11-07T15:23:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to meet my childhood self. That little pony tailed, glitter eyed girl whose face I sometimes have to search long and hard for in a reflection that has changed so much in so little time. That girl who lives on mostly in memories and in faded old photographs where she so mischievously smiles out at me. What would I tell that girl, that girl who was known to chase after boys and gleefully shower them with pelts of tiny rain drop kisses?

What would I say to the girl who could take an empty notebook and a pencil and entertain herself for hours upon end…

The girl who relished being the center of attention, who loved to make people laugh, who loved to dance, and whose favorite place to be was on a stage where she felt as though hundreds of eyes were watching only her…

The girl who would put on a bathrobe, call herself a magician, and charge her family money to see one failed magic trick after another…

The girl who dreamed of being an actress, a rock star, a dancer, a teacher, a writer, a princess, a stand up comedian, a dolphin trainer, a wife, a mom, Miss America. The girl who believed she could be them all…

The girl who had a trunk full of Barbies and secretly played with her brother’s Ninja Turtles...

The girl who ended every day by singing “we’re off to see the wizard” with her mom as they skipped to bed…

The girl who loved to play with makeup and refused to wear anything but dresses…

The girl whose nose was always in a book...

The girl who knew every word to Achy Breaky Heart…

The girl who loved her daddy’s wild bull rides…

The girl who was often times so quiet and shy…

The girl who loved to pick blackberries and green beans out of her grandma’s garden…

The girl who dug holes in her back yard fully expecting to find oil…

The girl who stole her mom’s cups of coffee when no one was watching…

The girl who would pretend to have bad dreams just so she could snuggle in bed with her parents…

The girl who loved to play make believe, make necklaces out of daisies, twirl in circles, and dance in the rain…

I can picture the pair of us in my living room. Me, curled up on the couch under a blanket, and her on the floor with her legs and butt in the air as always, twisting herself into a human pretzel. I imagine I would tell her that it’s okay to be different, that being unique makes her a thousand times more interesting than being a carbon copy of someone else. I would tell her to be nicer to her sister and to try not to tattle on her so much, because a day will come when she will need her. I would tell her that she doesn’t necessarily always have to follow all the rules; that breaking a few won’t make her a bad person and will also give her a crazy story or two to laugh about later in life. Perhaps most importantly, I would let her know that she should never under any circumstances cut her own hair…not a good idea at all. I would tell her that it’s okay to cry when things aren’t going her way, but to always remember that the things she cries about today, she will one day get down on her knees and praise God for. About boys, I would tell her to never change herself for them, to never neglect her friendships because of them, and for goodness sake stop chasing after them. If one likes her, he will do the chasing….

At the same time, I wonder what kinds of childhood wisdom she would make sure to remind me of. Perhaps that I don’t have to try so hard…that it’s alright to scribble and to get outside the lines. That when I need to make a decision, it’s okay to eenie meenie miny mo it every once in a while. She’d tell me to skip through parking lots and climb park trees without caring about the fact that people are watching. That when I want something really bad, all I have to do is pick the brightest star in the sky and make a wish upon it. That when I have a bad day it’s alright, because the next will be brand new. Being with her for a day may bring back the amazement I used to feel when seeing a puddle of rain, smelling the autumn leaves, or seeing a flock of birds glide silently overhead…

Or maybe we wouldn’t say any of these things, but rather let one another figure it out on her own.

Because, after all, the real beauty is in the learning...

sitting, waiting, wishing

2006-09-10T21:39:00.000-05:00

This week I will...

-Drink less coke and more water
-Bring my lunch to work Monday through Thursday...treat myself to lunch out with Terra and Bekah Friday.
-Try something new
-Finish reading Exodus
-Write a letter...a real letter, like with a stamp and everything
-Mail my cell phone rebate thingy... something I have been meaning to do for over a month.
-Call my brother Jeremy, just to say hi
-Not watch tv, other than the news while getting ready in the mornings.
-Remember to take my contacts out before going to bed. After ten years you think it wouldn't be too difficult, but whatever...

Crossing my fingers, I'll let you know how it goes :-)

She swears the moon dont hang quite as high as it used to

2006-09-08T03:11:00.000-05:00

It's 3am. Can't sleep.

Blah, I hate it when you want to go to sleep most desperately, but for one reason or another sleep just doesn't come. And then the more minutes that tick by, the more frustrated you get and the more unlikely it is that you're ever going to get any shut eye.

So far, my sleep count for the night is right at one whopping hour. Went to bed around midnight, and then woke up right at 1, thinking that I was late for work. You know how sometimes you can be awake, but at the same time still be dreaming? Well, I thought that at work we were doing a study on the stars or the moon or something like that, and I was supposed to report for duty at 1am. I literally jumped out of bed and stood staring at my clock for what seemed like forever, trying to decipher between what was real and what was a dream. I never really did decide, so I fell back into bed and told myself that if I was late, I was late.

Tossed and turned for about an hour, and then realized that I was hungry...the intense kind of hungry where your stomach doesn't even growl any more...it just sits there and feels so completely empty. Went downstairs and discovered how desperately we need to go grocery shopping. Ate a piece of colby jack cheese and felt a little better.

Now going on hour number three. I have to be up and about in three and a half hours, at the most. I'm already predicting that I'll be totally useless tomorrow.

ahahgghgh!!!!!

Dendrophobia

2006-09-05T22:13:00.000-05:00

I am scared of trees. Not all trees...just some. Like the ones outside of Rogers High School that look like the hands of a senile old man, with bony outstretched fingers that I always thought were going to pluck me up out of my car and dangle me in mid air like an over-loved rag doll. And then there's the one on Huntsville that resembles a Grimms fairy tale monster, hunched over and with its long arms ready to snatch its next victim at any given moment. I have now rerouted my trips to work and back so that I no longer have to pass it and risk the chance of that victim becoming me. Is this odd? It's not like it's all trees or anything...in fact most trees I find perfectly lovely. At a previous job of mine, I spent most of the days staring out the window at these four trees that always looked as though they were dancing. They always appeared to be having the merriest of times...

And just for kicks, here are a list of items that actually have phobias created in their honor...and I just went through the A's!

fear of garlic
fear of opinions
fear of looking up
fear of england
fear of infinity
fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth
fear of people with amputations
fear of asymmetrical things
fear of flutes
fear of gold

So if you have polyphobia (the fear of many things) and happen to look up atop a sky scraper and see an english amputee with an 80s asymmetrical haircut playing a gold flute and yelling out a slew of opinions all the while eating an onion and peanut butter sandwich...um, well...then I fear for you.

Are you there God? It's me, Christina

2006-08-20T20:37:00.000-05:00

I woke up feeling lonely this morning. I'm not quite sure why...all I know is that as the sparkling start of a new day sliced through my windowblinds early this morning and my eyelids fluttered open long before they should have...my heart felt heavy and sad. I tried going back to sleep, an attempt which thirty minutes later I deemed as being futile. Finally I managed to drag myself out of bed when my friend Michael Buble asked if he could serenade me. After much commotion and other ado I finally let out a long sigh of surrender and said okay. Slipping on a dress and a smile, I opened up the blinds and as we did the waltz in the inpouring of sunlight, I began to feel a little better. I hope the neighbors did not see.

I think I miss my mommy. You know those days where all you really want is to be wrapped up tight in a pair of tender unconditional arms? Like a Christmas present or something, wound up with a big red bow so tight and snug that you feel like you're going to burst if it doesn't loosen, and that all your baggage is going to fall out if it does. Does that make sense? Today was one of those days. Today was one of those days where you just want to cry, for no real reason other than crying being the only thing you know to do. I can't even remember the last time I cried, other than during movies and tv shows and commercials and certain songs and while listening to the Delilah show on Magic 107.9. I can't remember the last time I cried for me, though. Mostly because I never have anything tragic enough happen in my life that I would consider cry-worthy. But now as the final hours of the day slowly tick away and as my dress and my smile lay shed in a rumpled heap on the floor, I'm beginning to think that not even crying will help.

I tried calling my mom; she didn't answer. I have so much more to tell you God, and I thank you in advance for listening so patiently to it all...and, as always, for answering.

Chrissy

pie jesu

2006-08-20T20:24:00.000-05:00

Pie Jesu, Pie Jesu,
Pie Jesu, Pie Jesu,

Qui Tollis peccata mundi;
Dona eis requiem,
Dona eis requiem,

Agnus Dei,Agnus Dei
Agnus Dei, Agnus Dei

Quit Tollis peccata mundi;

Dona eis requiem,
Dona eis requiem,

Sempiternam, sempiternam requiem.
.........
Lord have mercy,
Lord have mercy,

You who take away the sins of the world;
Grant them peace,
Grant them peace,

Lamb of God, Lamb of God
Lamb of God, Lamb of God

You who take away the sins of the world;

Grant them peace,
Grant them peace,

Peace everlasting, everlasting.

the thunder rolls

2006-08-06T15:04:00.000-05:00

It's raining! I am happy.

reason to believe

2006-06-29T21:13:00.000-05:00

Oh sweet lungs don't fail me now
Your burning has turned into fear
Drills me in my every step, i'm moving quick but you're always on my heals

Just one more breath, i beg you please
Just one more step, my knees are weak
My heart is sturdy but it needs you to survive
My heart is sturdy but it needs you

Breathe, don't you want to breathe
I know that you are strong enough to handle what i need
My capillaries scream, there's nothing left to feed on
My body needs a reason to cross that line
Will you carry me there one more time?

Steady lungs, don't fail me now
I feel you bursting but you won't let me die
Fill me up with every step
I'm feeling sick, but i'm leaving it behind

Just one long breath i beg you please
Just one more step you are not weak
My legs are sturdy but they need you to survive
My heart is sturdy but i need you

Breathe, don't you want to breathe
And know that you are strong enough to handle what i need
My capillaries scream, there's nothing left to feed on
My body needs a reason to cross that line
Will you carry me there once more?

I have reason to believe that i have victories to taste
I can feel them on my teeth, upon my lips and in my chest
I can roll them on my tongue, they are more subtle than defeat
I feel the tension in my lungs and every move is filled by my resolve to

Breathe, don't you want to breathe
I know that you are strong enough to handle what i need
My capillaries scream, there's nothing left to feed on
My body needs a reason to cross that lineWill you carry me there one more time?

tempomenting

2006-05-01T21:35:00.000-05:00

I just spent about five minutes trying to figure out what the word tempomenting means. You know how the last word in a line of text is hyphenated if there's not enough room for it to fit? Yeah, well I skipped a line and the word was actually temporary. The line underneath it was implementing. Hence, tempomenting. The fact that I went back and read over it oh, about four or five times before finally realizing my blunder was a bit worrisome until I reminded myself that this could be the very last time I ever have to study for finals. Or at least until the day I forget how fist-clinching awful it is and decide to further torture myself by enrolling in grad school. That day isn't coming any time soon, however, and right now my eyes are narrowly focused on Saturday. I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel...I just hope my train doesn't get derailed before I get through it.

five days and counting,
Christina

humbled

2006-03-31T21:33:00.000-06:00

Never shall I forget that smoke.
Never shall I forget the small faces of the children whose bodies I saw transformed into smoke under a silent sky.
Never shall I forget those flames that consumed my faith forever.
Never shall I forget the nocturnal silence that deprived me for all eternity of the desire to live.
Never shall I forget those moments that murdered my God and my soul and turned my dreams to ashes.
Never shall I forget those things, even were I condemned to live as long as God himself.
Never.

I read the book Night by Elie Wiesel on Friday. I would tell you how moving it was, but I know that my feeble words wouldn't even begin to do it justice. So I will just say that when you get a chance, you should take a couple hours and read it yourself. It will change the way you think about your life...

goodbye to you

2006-03-29T16:27:00.000-06:00

I was bored, so I decided to see who my "music match" was. I don't think it really fits me...

Your music match is a Cool Indie Songstress

Who's Your Music Match?
Brought to you by Tickle

Are you happy now? We hope so! Like your music match Michelle Branch, you've got a calm and collected way about you that usually makes people think of you as mature. It doesn't hurt that you're also a smarty. Following along to someone else's song and dance? Not you. You're no copycat. You bring your own original style to whatever you do whether it's your look, hobbies, interests, or outlook on life. Wherever you go, you prove that being yourself is the hottest thing around. And that's sure to be a hit with any crowd.

hair today, gone tomorrow

2005-12-15T21:00:00.000-06:00

So tomorrow at 0930 hours I'm getting about a foot of hair chopped off and donating it to locks of love. Yes, seriously! Well, unless I chicken out, which I doubt I will because I'm CRAZY EXCITED...a little nervous, but mostly excited. I'm so pumped because not only do I think it'll be super cute, but it will also greatly reduce the amount of time it takes me to get ready in the morning. YAY! This morning, I even skipped conditioning because I knew I'd be getting it hacked off anyway. Talk about living on the edge...baby I'm just barely hanging on.

how to tell if your child is a potential hippie and what you can do about it

2005-12-13T10:32:00.000-06:00

This reminds me of the time I found a "how to tell if your teenager is smoking pot" pamphlet sitting on the kitchen table. Yeah, that's right. My mother apparently thought that I was smoking pot. FYI: I've never smoked anything and for a really long time I thought there weren't even drugs in Northwest Arkansas...totally not kidding. I'm not sure if this was before the area became the meth capital of the United States, or just before my Jesus bubble burst and I came to realize it. But, I suppose my mom didn't know any of this and so when she wasn't nagging me with questions like "Christina, are you losing weight??" it was, "Christina, why are your eyes red??" Ah, my mom. I love her.

I have to wonder, had I been alive in 1970, would I have found this on the table? Knowing my mom, I think yes. And I think therefore I am, man. Wow, that's heavy...too bad I just violated rule numero three.

Cue the Halleluah Chorus

2005-11-25T12:30:00.000-06:00

Uff Da!

2005-11-09T22:20:00.000-06:00

Terra sent this to me today. I thought it was super funny, especially since I am Norwegian (about 1/2) and have viking ancestors...Leif Ericson to be specific, who was here before Columbus thankyouverymuch.

My dad grew up in Minnesota. I have been there a few times and everything in the entire state (retraction: the parts that I have been to) is related to vikings somehow. Kind of like nwa and the razorbacks, I guess. Anyway, there is this Norwegian expression, "Uff Da!," that is used everywhere in Minnesota. It means "dang it!" or "ouch!" or "goodness gracious!" or any other way of expressing irritation. I remember being at the Rogers Supercenter one time and seeing a cashier wearing a button that had the expression written across it in big bold letters. I asked her if she was Norwegian and she just stared at me with this really shocked look on her face, and told me that I had been the only customer who had ever known what it meant. I went home and told my dad about it. He was very proud.

My grandma was all Norwegian, and she made my dad and his siblings eat ludefisk every Christmas. My dad describes luefisk as being some sort of clear fish. He says that eating it was torture, and that he would never even think of making his kids eat it. Thank you, Daddy. There's this other thing called lefse, that's supposed to be really good. I think it's kind of like a tortilla. My dad always asks my mom to make it, but you have to have some sort of ingredients that you can't find around here.

Yeah, so anyway... now that you know every bit of information that I know about my heritage, I think I shall go burn and pillage. To the ships!

don't you step on my blue suede shoes

2005-10-18T21:26:00.000-05:00

Whenever my last class of the day is cancelled or lets out early, I like to think of a reason as to why it's pertinent I must visit the mall...mostly because Sbarro sounds a lot better than whatever I brought to eat from home. So over the past several weeks I've made about three or four afternoon jaunts over there and, lucky me, I have not only reaped a tasty lunch from the decision, but also some fantastic entertainment.

As I'm sure you all know, there is an arcade right across from Sbarro. What you may not know, unless you have the same luck as I do, is that there is a Dance Dance Revolution game right inside the window. Now, the really hilarious part of this story is that every time, EVERY time I've gone to the mall recently, I've seen the SAME kid playing this game. And I don't mean "it's fifty cents, I'll give it a shot" playing. Oh no. I'm talking "20 minute, spastic, full out, I think I'm going to have a heart attack just watching him" playing. This guy is insane. I was over there today and he was already playing whenever I first got in line to get my lunch, he continued to play as I waited for my food which took at least 5 minutes, and then after I nabbed a table where I could watch him, I stayed for another 15 minutes and when I finally decided to leave, he was still going at it with crackhead like stamina. Ahhh, so unbelievably hilarious! Oh, it was so fantastic. Everyone who walked by would do a sort of double take and then just stand there and laugh which was kinda sad, but mostly really funny.

So. If you ever find yourself with nothing to do around 11:30, 12ish...boogie yourself over to the mall to watch DDR kid. Seriously.

Gettin Jiggy (nana nana nanana)
Christina

Apples on a hot stick make me sick, make my heart go 246

2005-10-05T18:45:00.000-05:00

Some of you may remember this from an earlier post, but I find it so completely hilarious and have deemed it worthy of another giggle or two. It is the first hand account of the woefully complex life of a fourth grader. (That would be me.) That's right. These words are my own, found scribbled in a little red diary with a little gold lock, which was crammed in a big rubbermaid box amongst old notes and drawings and other childhood relics that I cannot bear to part with. Names have been changed to protect the innocent, well actually no they haven't...spelling certainly has been though. Everything else, sadly, is word for word.

3/23 Today I broke up with Cody. Why you ask? Because he's a four-timer, that's why. Got to go. Bye.

3/27 Today I got into a big fight with Jennifer. She told Keith I wanted to marry him because I told Mrs. Cobb our teacher that she locked all the bathroom doors and no one could get in. And she did. And she always teases me. I'm never going to be her friend again. Now Jessica and Kelli are my best friends. I sat by them at lunch today. They said I could whenever I want. They are really good friends.

3/29 Sorry I haven't wrote for a while. I'm still not Jennifer's friend. Our teacher said I could sit by Kelli and Jessica from now on because we don't talk. Today is Tuesday so we had p.e. My favorite. I also had dance class 4:00 to 5:00. On Mondays I got to ballet and tap. Well got to go. Maybe tomorrow I can make up with Jennifer. NOT!

3/31 Tomorrow's April Fools Day and Mrs. Cobb's birthday. I've got a lot of tricks up my sleeve. I got our teacher a book and a card. She's going to be surprised! There's this boy in my class named Josh. He's got Josh germs. And no one likes him. And in the other 4th grade class there's a girl named Amber. She's got Amber germs.

4/1 I like Jennifer. April Fools!

4/2 Hi! It's me. Today we had early out at 1:30. I watched TGIF. Jennifer said my mom and dad spoil me. They do. But it's none of her business. She's jealous because her grandma doesn't like her. No one likes her. Except her boyfriend Brandon. And he pretends he likes her. When we were friends I memorized her phone number. But now I can't get it out of my mind. I don't know what to do. But I do know I don't like Jennifer. HELP!

4/5 Jennifer is such a baby. She fixes her hair like Shirley Temple every Monday. And when she doesn't her grandma fixes it. She talks like Mrs. Piggy and likes stupid shows like Flipper and Lassie. She's a dog and laughs like a pig. No wonder no one likes her!

4/6 It was the usual day with coody girl. I had to sit with her at lunch. She said I talked like Minnie Mouse. I told her she was a baby. She told me my room is a mess (it's not.) I told her that her house is teeni tiny. But about a half hour ago I wrote her a note saying I was sorry and wanted to be her friend. But not her best friend. I'm so excited I made the A honor roll!

4/8 Jessica and Kelli are really great. Not at all like Jennifer. They are really caring. If you look sad or something they ask you if you're feeling well. And if you're down they always try to cheer you up. A boy in class likes me. But I don't want to go out with him because it will ruin my reputation. He really thinks I'm pretty. But I don't know if that's the only reason he likes me. I'm not a dumb bimbo. If that's the only reason he likes me there's no way I'll say yes!

4/9 No school! Conference is today. I got all As. We went out to eat with grandma and grandpa and then we went to the Easter play. Some of it was scary, some was happy, and some was really really sad. How could they do that to Jesus, the son of God? One of the greatest people on earth. Jesus is the one who loves us. God loves us too. They love us very much. And I love them more than any one in the world. And he's the best! Ps. I've got a secret.

4/10 My secret is that we didn't go to the Easter play. It was packed and we couldn't even have a parking place. We went to the movies instead. We saw Forever Young. It was really good but not as good as the Easter play would be. All well I've seen it a lot. And tomorrow is Easter Sunday. We always get a lot of candy from the parent rabbits!

4/19 I've got lots of lots of friends. But my two best friends were absent. So I played with Janna at recess. Janna acts like a cat. But it isn't funny because she was born like that. Jana said she made out with a cat. That's one reason I don't like her. I don't hate her. I don't hate anyone except Satan.

4/22 Jennifer's my best friend!

4/29 As I was saying, Jennifer is my best friend. I decided to forgive her We do everything together.

5/6 I'm in love! Who is he? A babe with blonde hair named Jeff. Everyone knows he likes me but he is too shy to ask me out! To be continued.

5/11 He tickels me at recess and he sits by me whenever he can. He's a babe. But how do I tell him?

The end...

boo boo be-do WHOO!

2005-09-22T21:14:00.000-05:00

Today was an "I have absolutely nothing to wear" morning. I have this habit of staring vacantly into my closet. I don't look through my stuff. I just sit in my floor and stare. I'm not sure the reason behind this behavior, but it is proving to be very ineffective, for after 10 minutes of staring, I'm still in my pajamas. I also have this habit of searching for a piece of clothing that I KNOW I don't own. "Oh! This would look really cute with a purple tank top." I don't HAVE a purple tank top, I don't think I've EVER had one. Yet, I go through all of my shirts once, twice, three times, hoping that one will magically materialize. So this morning I went through my regular routine of yanking a piece of clothing out of my closet, pausing just long enough to contemplate a possible ensemble , and then tossing it behind me in a huff of rejection. After about 15 minutes of this attire choosing tango, I was running out of time, as well as options, and finally settled on wearing a skirt.

I say all of to preface an encounter in the computer lab this morning, when I sashayed by a box fan and, whoosh! what a refreshing breeze that was. Luckily, it was a long skirt and I was spared the humiliation that surely would of ensued had my choice of threads been slightly different.

The situation was very Marilyn Monroe-esq. Though with me, the effect wasn't nearly as sexy or glamorous. At least my modesty was preserved; a notable consolation, I suppose.

girls who eat their feelings

2005-09-18T14:54:00.000-05:00

www.ecreamery.com

Go here and make and name your own icecream...and then order it so you can taste your custom creation! (or at least close your eyes and try to imagine tasting it...it costs $84!)

My specialty: strawberry cheescake surprise. mmmm....

without title

2005-09-15T18:26:00.000-05:00

I scored some gas for $2.59 today at the Neighborhood Market in Bentonville. No, actually it was $2.56 with one of their handy, dandy, money saving gas cards. I was able to fill up for $10 less than what I had originally allowed for. Rejoice!

I think I was gloom personified as I neared the gas station this morning. The thought of spending another 40 bucks on gas this week just did not appeal to me at all. But ahh, what glee I felt as the blaring red price sign came into focus. (I usually hate those signs by the way. They hang there so smugly as if to say "Yeah that's right. You wanna make something of it?") I think I must have come as close to wetting my pants as I have since I was four, and truth be told I'm still having trouble holding it in whenever I think about it. However, I cannot ignore the ironic juxtaposition between today's reaction and that of several weeks ago which went more like:

"$2.50? $2.50?? How am I going to afford going to Fayetteville and back seven times a week with gas at $2.50?? That's it, I'm done. I'm financially ruined!!"

The conspiracy theorist in me wants to say that the prices are purposely and insidiously jacked up by a ridiculously large amount and then ever....so....sloooowly lowered little by little. That way, people will suddenly be jumping at the bit to pay a price that before was the cause of much weeping and gnashing of teeth. Oh, what I would give to pay $1.97 for gas, a price that a year ago nearly caused me to go to the doctor and beg for xanax. Okay, maybe not. But the thought of gas breaking $2 a gallon did worry me. I think I'll go out on a limb and predict that a year from now, we will be salivating at the thought of being able to pay $3 a gallon. And then then later, $4. I hope not. I hope something is done fast. If not then...I will have no choice but to buy one of those alpacas and ride it to school every day. I may get some odd looks as I hitch him to the bike rack in front of class, but at least I'll have money in my pocket.

Yeehaw!

Do you love me, question mark

2005-09-14T00:49:00.000-05:00

A typical page of notes in Christina fashion. I try to pay attention in class. I really do. But after about 15 or 20 minutes of lecture my mind wanders and I find myself engrossed in drawing little swirly woos and hearts and flowers and little stick men. I never expected that at 22 I'd still be doodling all over my papers. Actually, yes I did. I guess that is just the girl in me. I can just see myself sitting around a huge board table one day, leaning over my paper and biting my lip in careful concentration, while meticulously drawing my name in bubble letters. All of these important executive people will hear the scratch scratch of my pencil and will peer over my paper and see all of my "diligent note taking." Do you think you could get fired for that?

Does anyone remember that song that was about a student who was in love with one of his teachers? It went:

I love you, period
Do you love me, question mark
Please please, exclamation point
I wanna hold you in parenthesis

Do you ever remember hearing that?? I used to sing it all the time with my sister. In fact, I can distinctly remember singing it at the bowling alley one time. Who sang it though??? I think I'm going to look it up.
...
...
...
Ah, okay DAN BAIRD sang it. Of course. Good ol' Dan Baird. Mmm mm. Oh, hmm, wait a minute. Who is Dan Baird??

I don't know why that song came to mind. It's not like I'm in love with one of my teachers or anything. Ha. No way. Nooooo way. Hmm-mmm...

bohemian rhapsody

2005-09-05T04:31:00.000-05:00

I will be a college graduate in less than a year. And as positively gleeful I am while thinking of not having to worry about homework or tests or whether or not the hottie in the third row saw me trip over the steps on the way to my seat...my swiftly approaching status as a college alumni also presents its fair share of frustration. As my days of living the life of a struggling college kid slowly dwindle week by torturous week, the most dreaded question that is posed to me is: "So, what are you going to do after graduation?"

I have thought long on hard about my post-graduation options, and have come up with three possibilities. The real problem, however, is that none of them particularly appeal to me. They are, in no set order: (A) Go to graduate school (B) Start a career or (C) Marry an insanely hansom and filthy rich guy and live a life of champagne wishes and caviar dreams. Now any of these options would be great for most people I'm sure. But...I just don't think they're right for me for various reasons, which I will now explain. I have spent the past 18 years of my life in school, and I honestly believe that if I had to spend even one more year in a class room, I would have a mental breakdown and would plant a bomb somewhere in the business college, blowing it to smithereens. For the safety of my fellow classmates, I think I will refrain from going to graduate school. The idea of going straight into the workforce doesn't sit well with me either. Who wants to go straight from working their butt off in college to working their butt of even more at work? Not me. What if I wake up in 40 years and think "Whoa, where has my life gone? I've never been to Italy. I've never gone repelling or swam with the dolphins or met John Travolta." I want to LIVE MY DREAMS, you know? I don't want to waste my life sitting at a desk piled with memos and post-it notes. But, I guess you need money to live your dreams, which brings me to choice C. And although marrying an insanely hansom guy does interest me greatly, the thought of eating caviar makes me kinda queasy.

So after reviewing my possible options and my feelings about those options, it may seem as though I am doomed for a life of misery. And up until about five minutes ago, I probably would have agreed with you. But then, I realized my life's calling. As I was scrubbing my bathroom sink just this evening, thinking about nothing other than how I need to clean more often, the heavens opened and I heard the voice of God whisper my destiny into my ear, and that is when I decided: on May 13, 2006, the day after receiving a degree in retail marketing...I am going to become a gypsy.

If you wish to buy me a graduation present, I would greatly appreciate long flowy skirts, big hoop earrings, or a tambourine.

The first kiss was a sweet kiss, The second kiss had a twist. The third and your fourth kiss, I don't want to miss.

2005-09-01T20:38:00.000-05:00

I don't think I've ever heard so much good music on power 105.7 than I have over the past two days. They have been playing any song for those who have called in to donate money for hurricane relief. Everything from Barry Manilow and Frank Sinatra to The Doors and Tom Petty. Even crazy stuff like the Ducktales theme song and Just the Two of us from the Austin Power's soundtrack. But my most favoritest song they played was.....

"The Right Stuff" by.....NKOTB, baby! New Kids on the Block, mm, I haven't heard them in forevers! And what do you do when you hear a cheesy 80s boyband song? You make sure your windows are tightly rolled up and then you turn the radio up to ear deafening levels and proceed to rock out, of course. DoDoDoDoDo, DoDoDoDo, DoDoDoDoDo...The Right Stuff, Uh.

Oh, how that brought back memories. I was pretty young when the New Kids on the Block were at their "peak" but my sister and her friends were in looooove with them, so of course I was as well. Especially that Joey McIntyre, mmm mm. Haha. Oh geez, I don't think you could even see an inch of my actual bedroom walls because I had so many posters up, and we had all of the dolls (the concert dolls and the regular "street clothes" dolls) the stage, everything. I remember I wanted a t-shirt soooo badly, but we could never find one small enough for me, so my mom made me one with these photo transfer things and...dare I say this...puff paint. ahh! I can distinctly remember going roller skating wearing that shirt with black leggings and this white stretchy belt that was about six inches in width. It clasped with these big gold snaps and it had gold dangly chains all over it. eek! My sister had a similar one, only it was black. We also had these neon socks; pink, yellow, orange, and green. We would wear all four of them at the same time. We would like, put on a pink one, and then put on an orange one over it and kinda roll it down so you could see both. Wow. I bet we looked pretty cool, especially with our la gears and our keds. Oh, and of course the staple scrunchies and slap bracelets. With all that and our stiff aqua net feathered bangs, we must have been a walking fashion faux pas. But, it was like 1989. And I was 7. I plead innocent of all fashion crimes on grounds of incompetentcy.

I managed to snooze my alarm only twice today. I'm the worst at getting myself out of bed in the morning and have actually resorted to setting two alarms. My cell phone goes off first, but I have learned that I can put a pillow over my head and ignore it because it only goes off once and doesn't repeat. My second alarm goes off a couple minutes later, and I put it in my bathroom in hopes that having to get out of bed to turn it off would get me up and going. It doesn't. I just crawl right under the warmth and safety of my covers. When I did manage to get out of bed this morning, I walked into my bathroom and I found this pair of little terrycloth shorts laying near my toilet sopping wet. I have absolutely no idea what happened to them. My floor wasn't wet or anything...just my shorts. It's the craziest thing and I'm wondering if I might have thrown them into my toilet somehow in the middle of the night. When I was really young I remember waking up in the morning without my nightgown on. We never found it, not even when we moved out of that house, and my mom has this theory that I may have flushed it down the toilet. I guess that's possible because it just completely vanished...it was just gone. Crazy, but feasible I guess. But yeah, I'm wondering if I did something weird like that last night. I'm bad at sleep walking so it's a definite possibility. I'm just glad I didn't flush 'em. I really do like those shorts, and sending them down the tubes would've just sucked.

Love you guys :-)
Christina

Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash

2005-08-25T21:23:00.000-05:00

Why is it that you can spew the cruelist, most awful, insults over e-mail, but then put a smily face behind them and suddenly make it perfectly acceptable?

I hate you :-)
Your boyfriend likes me more than you ;-D
You are such a retard :-P
You better watch your back ;-)

Now I admit that I am just as guilty of doing this as anyone else. It's like, "okay I know they will know I'm kidding, but just in case I will put this cute little smily face that way they know for sure." Because if not then, ya know, you might seriously think that I hate you.

And I would never want that, you no good big bootie biotch :-)

I can forgive, but can I forget?

2005-08-24T21:20:00.000-05:00

After spending much time in meditation and prayer, I feel compelled to confess a deep dark secret of mine. One that no one knows about, one that I have kept hidden in the depths of my heart for far too long. I hope that you can please forgive me for keeping this from you. I trust that you understand that I had my reasons...

My secret is...deep breath...that I have been involved in a love affair for the past 8 or 9 years. A love affair with...uh...erm...ahem... A love affair with...Subway. Yes, you heard me right, there is no need to clean out your ears. Subway and I are, um...involved.

I would love to romanticize things and claim that my relationship with the delicious slice of heaven that is Subway was love at first bite, but...not all love stories come with such happy, whimsical, beginnings. Ours certainly didn't. It all began one night when I was in 8th or 9th grade and it was actually my parents who first introduced us. It was before my brother's band concert and I was in a foul mood for whatever reason. Being a teenager, it could have been anything. I had never been to Subway before and wasn't thrilled about trying it. In fact, I was irritated to the core that my parents had the audacity to even think about setting us up. I guess you could say that my mind was closed to the possibility of forming new relationships. After all, I liked to play the field and already had too many love interests to handle. Sonic, Arby's, Chick-fil-a. How is a girl to deal? I did (begrudgingly) give it a shot, however. But to say the least, we simply did not hit it off and as I left that night, I made no arrangement for any future rendezvous whatsoever.

It wasn't until a couple years later that I had my second encounter with Subway. This time it was during my high school semester finals. I was hanging out with some friends on our lunch break, and under their influence decided to forgive previous shortcomings and offer second chances, if only to escape their constant harassment concerning my stubbornness in not wanting to get involved in new relationships. This is in no way saying that I had no qualms about it. Oh, I was skeptical. And I was timid. Wanting to take things safe and slow, I made my selection as simple as possible; a 6" turkey breast on white with pickles; nothing more. After receiving my sandwich, the two of us walked to the table to sit with my friends. I sat there chit-chatting for a moment or two, not terribly excited about what was to come. But then, finally, I unwrapped my sandwich, brought it to my lips oh so casually, took a bite, and then....euphoria. My taste buds tangoed and my heart soared. This is what I had been searching all my life for. How could I have been so blind, for so long? It had been here waiting for me all the time. This was...love.

Things moved along at warped speeds after that. I quickly dumped my old loves. I said so long to Sonic, Adios to Arby's, and Check you later to Chick-fil-a. I had no time for them anymore. No, I was a one restaurant woman now. I visited often; multiple times a week even. I became bold and adventurous, trying several different sandwiches before deciding on my favorite "A 6" turkey breast on Parmesan oregano bread with pepper jack cheese, onions, bell peppers, a LOT of pickles, salt and pepper and creamy Italian dressing, please." I was in love and I was loving that I was in love. But then...things started to change. After a couple years of being exclusive, I could feel my heart, and my stomach, craving change. We were in a rut, I was sick of the same ol' same ol'. And before I knew it, the inevitable happened. My eyes began to wander, my taste buds began to water at the thought of something different. Something new and fresh and exciting. And then...it happened. Pretty soon Subway no longer was my first choice for lunch. I was reverting to my old ways, and visiting my old loves. Oh, the guilt that I felt. But what could I do? I was young, and I wanted to experience new things. I just wasn't ready to settle down.

And then...the kicker. Yesterday while reminiscing about old times, I began to miss the way things used to be. I missed how the employees would recognize me and know my order from heart, I missed double stamp days, I missed the smell of fresh bread that would engulf me seconds upon entering the building. I even missed having to park in the McDonalds parking lot due to Subway's being full. Yes, I had made a horrible mistake, and I knew it. And so I rushed back, hoping for a second chance. So much time had passed, would it be too late? There was only one way to find out. I purchased my sandwich, sat down, and ate. It felt like the first time all over again. I savored each succulent bite until I was full with happiness. Things were going to be okay, it would take time, but I knew in my heart that they would. But then...then...I noticed it. A sign saying that subway stamps were no longer going to be accepted (some college guys were reproducing them and selling them on e-bay.) Oh, the sorrow the bled through my being. How could Subway do this to me? How could they take my stamps away, after so long? I thought we had something. I feel so violated. So taken advantage of. I just, I just, sniff, I just don't know what to think. I'm rehashing our every moment together. For the first time, I'm doubting my feelings for Subway. Do I still love them? Did I ever? Yes, yes, I must have. It must have been love...but it's over now. Or is it? Maybe we just need some time apart, some space. Yes, that's it. I just need some space right now. Things will get better in time. But for now, I think I need someone to take me out for comfort food. And, mmm, now that I think about it, McDonalds does sound really good! Hey, who ever said being on the rebound was a bad thing?

heartbroken and hungry,
Christina

Hi, I'm Christina and I did nothing this summer

2005-08-22T20:40:00.000-05:00

First day back at school. Couple observations:

1. Why are college students forced to play ice breaking games???

2. Concering parking permits: The instructions "Peel permit off of backing" is not nearly detailed enough. The question is HOW to peel the permit off the backing. I'm hoping I'm not the only one who spent five hair tugging minutes trying to figure this one out.

3. Having a hunky phd student as a teacher is going to make going to class less of a burden. A LOT less of a burdnen. Hubba Hubba. :-)

4. Do I want to fill out a survey for a free chick-fil-a sandwhich? Uh, yeah! Where do I sign?

5. New 34,234,324 step printing instructions in the b.a. computer lab is...brain numbing.

6. Being able to say that I will be graduating in May feels a zillion times better than I thought it would.

263 more days, 21 credit hours, and way too many tanks of gas to go!

stick a fork in me, i'm done

2005-08-18T20:18:00.000-05:00

Newsflash: Sun does not shine at 5:30 am, Christina astonished

So last week I had the brilliant gem of an idea to fill in for a girl at work while she went on vacation. Yes, yes, this would involve a 7am arrival, but the overtime hours appealed to me and my emaciated bank account, so I pounced at the opportunity with naive gladness. I guess the fact that this also required a wake up call at the inhumane hour of 5:30am somehow took a wrong turn in route to my brain, and it was not until the shrill of my alarm violently invaded the serenity of my sweet dreams on Monday morning that I realized, in as much shock as one can muster at that hour, the torture that I had surrendered myself to. And now, after four days of early morning masochism, I feel like one of those dead fish you see washed up on the shore of the beach. Someone please get an ax and kill me.

For any of you who don't know, I like to sleep. Sleep is good. Sleep is fun. No sleep is no fun. And when Christina gets no sleep, she's no fun either. (She also starts to hallucinate and talk in third person which can be kinda freaky if you don't know her well enough to understand she's harmless.) But truth be told, under normal, well-rested circumstances, I think I do a pretty darn good job at trying to be nice. But, just like everyone else, I have that little devil lurking over my left shoulder too. And even though I try my best to keep her stuffed deep down in the isolation of my pocket, sometimes she just has to jump out with an unexpected ROAR. I do feel I mild twinge of regret for revealing my sassy side this week (not playful sassy, seriously pissed off sassy) but at least my coworkers know to respect me now, or do they fear me? Either way, they know that if I come in with frizzy hair, puffy eyes, and a death stare, it is best to leave me alone until I have at least 16 oz of caffeine pumping through my body.

The girl I've been working for will be back tomorrow, so ever since my 11 hour shift came to an end earlier this evening, I have slowly began to relax. But before I totally get back to normal, though, I would like to take full advantage of this seriously explosive mood I am in and offer up a few bank etiquette suggestions. These are all examples of things that I have actually experienced and they are all things that conjure up daydreams of me putting my fingers around a customer's neck and squeezing. For your safety and for your bank teller's sanity, please read closely and adjust your bank going practices accordingly.

1. Know your account number. Or if memorizing a seven to ten digit number is too much to ask, please keep the handy little card I've given you on ten previous occasions in a convenient and easily accessible location. Looking up account numbers all day gets old really fast.
2. If it is absolutely imperative that you receive your change in 2 $20s, 1 $10, 4 $5s, 22 $1s, 3 silver dollars, 1 gold dollar, $2.25 in quarters ("Kentucky, Georgia, or Delaware please...just not Michigan. I have enough of those.") 70 cents in dimes, 45 cents in nickels (gotta be buffalo of course) and 60 cents in pennies...please make your wishes clear BEFORE giving me that incredulous look when I slap you 5 $20s. That's right, if you want your money in the most obscure way possible...YOU HAVE TO TELL ME.
3. If you want to deposit a check and you don't have a deposit slip, at least TELL me that you want to deposit it. Don't watch me cash it and then wait until I send it back to flip out on me for not having esp.
4. Do not depend on the bank to feed your children and/or pets. There is no clause in your account information pamphlet guaranteeing the availability of suckers or dog biscuits. Be a good parent. Go buy your own.
5. If you feel the need to stare while someone is working on your transaction, please be at least a little stealth about it. There is nothing that causes one's skin to crawl more than knowing you are being devoured by a customer's eyes.
6. Come PREPARED. Don't sit in a drivethru for ten minutes balancing your checkbook for goodness sake.
7. If you have more than one transaction, give them to your teller ALL AT ONCE. Do NOT give them to her one at a time. Ughghgugh. Don't you realize that she has to walk to her computer and back every time you give her something, each time her heart floating with the comfort of knowing you are about to get out of her face, but then sinking once realizing you have yet another transaction?
8. Don't name drop. I don't care who you are or who you know, I'm still putting a hold on your $20k check. There's a thick sheet of bullet proof glass between us and if you wanna make something of it, you can just try to come in here and get me. Come on, I dare you.
9. If you think you were overcharged for something, don't tell your teller about it. What is she going to do? Call up Wal-Mart? Tellers make deposits, they make payments, they cash checks. That's it. That's all they do. They don't control what's taken out when you buy something, they don't control automatic deposits, they don't issue over draft fees and service charges. If you have a problem with anything other than a deposit, go away and bother someone else.
10. If you want to make a deposit for someone else, you have to know SOMETHING about them other than a name. How am I supposed to find Susan Smith's account if you don't know her ssn, her address, her birthday, ANYTHING? Do you KNOW how many Susan Smiths in the country hold accounts with us??
11. Lastly, the old golden rule. Treat your teller how you would like to be treated. If you are nice, they will want to help you. If you are mean, then they will want to smack you.

::Sigh:: I think I actually feel a little better. That must be the most therapeutic remedy for job strain short of walking into the president's office and throwing your name badge at him, which I have actually done a few times...if only in those fantasically silly day dreams of mine. I'm sleeping in until 8 tomorrow. It's going to be a lovely day.

2 spaceships out of 5: a cinematic review

2005-07-01T22:29:00.000-05:00

I saw War of the Worlds tonight. My parents invited me to go see it with them and my brother, and although I was hesitant to go watch an alien movie (blah, definitely not my cup of tea) I figured it was better than doing nothing at all. So I went. And I actually wasn't terribly disappointed. It was an okay movie I guess. I liked the cinematics and the cool camera work and all the other technical aspects of it. And of course I loved Dakota Fanning. She's a doll. But the story, eh, there really wasn't much to it...in my very humble opinion. Plus, I am sick of seeing Tom Cruise everywhere. If I were a film maker, there would be no way I would hire him to be in my movie, what with all of his crazy tirades lately and all. Even the other hollywood loonies are taking notice, and you gotta know you've gone off the deep end when Rosie O'Donnell tells you that you need to chill out.

Well now that I have that out of my system, back to the subject. Aliens. After much thought and deliberation, I have come to a conclusion as to what I would do if aliens were really invading earth like that and I happened to be here for it. I think I would just go out in the middle of the street when the thing was first beginning to happen and just have them zap me right then and there. I would say "Here I am, just come and take me baby. Just come and take me." Wouldn't it be much less painful and agonizing that way? Cause even if I would have made it through the whole ordeal, I would still have to battle post traumatic stress the rest of my life. And we all die sooner or later, right? Why not just get it over with? I'm thinking that would probably be as good of a way to go as any...

To conclude this haphazard review, I will say this. I thought that the movie was alright. It's wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great either. It was free, though, so I can't complain too much, now can I? If you want to know the truth, though, I think that the absolute bestest part of the entire movie was actually the preview for Elizabeth Town. Orlando Bloom! Wearing Jeans! And a t-shirt! Carrying a cell phone! Drinking a coke! With no sword in sight! Has he broken through the typecast that is period films? Yes, I do believe he has and I will now give out a cheer. Hip Hip Hooray!!!

ps: On somewhat of a random note, is there some sort of unspoken rule that there absolutely must be some crazy old man with an incredibly annoying laugh during every single movie I go watch? It is without fail. There is always that one man who lets out a lone, delayed, laugh like this: "a hur hur hur" during the whole movie. All by himself. Always. Why doesn't the person he's with elbow him in the ribs and tell him to shut his pie hole? I sure as heck would. Hmm.

christina clark, come on down!

2005-06-15T10:39:00.000-05:00

I would like to be on the Price is Right someday. That or Wheel of Fortune. It is a secret desire of mine that I do believe no one knows about. Not because I'm embarrassed of it, I don't think I could possibly be embarrassed of any of my secret desires, but just because I have never thought to tell anyone.

While I'm on the subject, I really really really hate it when the contestants on wheel of fortune obviously know the answer to the puzzle, but insist on buying vowels. Hello people! Buying vowels cost you money! Geez.

hello darkness, my old friend

2005-06-14T10:17:00.000-05:00

Please forgive the gloominess of the title, I'm just a little bummed out right now and, as its my nature to be over-dramatic about things, I thought that it fit. My car broke down yesterday...grrrrugh. I don't know what's wrong with it, but last night I was on my way to the movies, hopped in my car, started it up, and noticed it sounded kinda funny. I went ahead and left though, and a couple seconds later it started shifting really really hard and my check engine light came on. So I pulled over, tried to restart it, and it died on me. I tried to call my dad but had no signal, and so I then ventured out into the rain to walk back home. Luckily, my mom drove by and I flagged her down. My dad is taking my car to the repair place today and I'm hoping and praying that nothing is seriously wrong. Last summer, I blew a head gasket, which I know nothing about other than that it cost 1k to fix...which I'm still trying to pay my parents back for. I hope it's nothing like that.

I'm trying my best not to freak out about this. Last night, I laid on my bed for thirty minutes just staring at my fan as is went around and around. Have you ever put your fan on high and then tried to keep track of just one blade? It's hard, especially if it's white and blends in with the ceiling like mine does. I'm trying to keep in mind that things could be much worse. That there are people who have never even seen a car, and that I'm lucky that I have very few bills, so it's not going to destroy me to pay for a repair. I was also thinking that maybe it happened for a reason...well of course it happened for a reason, everything does. But I mean, maybe it happened for a really GOOD reason. Like, maybe if I had gone to the movies I would have had a wreck because it was storming so badly. It's a stretch, but you never know.

So my mom took me to school today, and I started thinking back to when I was little and how my dad would sing this song every day when he dropped me off. "Have a good day, work hard, have fun, love you, see you later, goodbyyyyye. Have a good day, work hard, have fun..." Man, I hadn't thought about that in years. It was excrutiatingly embarrasing at the time. I would say "Daaaad, be quiet! Someone's gonna her you!!!" Ah, kids are so silly. I really do have great parents though. They always seem to be there when you need them the most.

Get this nice man a doughnut

2005-06-08T00:56:00.000-05:00

Well, tonight proved to be the end of an era. Since the day I first got my license, I had only been pulled over twice, both times for reckless driving, and the second time must have been at least two years ago. I have always been pretty proud of myself for my ability to somehow avoid getting those oh so dreaded blue lights flashed in my rear view mirror. Although, I'm sure "ability" had nothing to do with it...more like sheer luck I guess. But, luck eventually runs out and I guess tonight was my night.

So, as you have probably already inferred, I was pulled over tonight. For the first time in two years. For speeding, for (somehow) the first time ever. I was on my way home from community group, not really paying attention, just driving along minding my own business. And then all of a sudden I saw a car in front of me that was going pretty slow, and I immediately realized that it was a cop. So I slowed down really fast and by the time I passed him, I was only going about 49 in a 45. No big deal, right? Mmm, no. No sooner had I passed him when those darn blue lights start flaring and my stomach started doing summersaults. It couldn't have happened in a worse place either because there was no where to pull over for about 1/2 a mile. So I was just driving along at like 10mph with my turning signal on, but with no where at all to turn. The cop probably thought I was freaking drunk outta my mind. But finally, I saw a side street and turned on it, nearly on top of a railroad track, but figured that was as good of a place as any. I had to sit there for like, five minutes too while the cop was doing who knows what in his car. This left me plenty of time to pray, pleading God for His mercy. Finally, I figured I should get out my license and so I took off my stupid seat belt even though my purse was right beside me, which I immediately knew was a mistake because they're doing that click it or ticket thing this month and everyone always says not to take it off because the cop can accuse you of not wearing it and you would have no way of proving that you were. So I thought of putting it back on, but then figured that might be even worse, because if he saw me put it on he might think that I didn't have it on in the first place. So I decided to leave it off and waited for another two or three torturously long minutes until he finally came up to my car. By this time, I had, thankfully, realized that I should turn off my thumping radio.

"Hi, I'm officer blah blah from the DWI unit."
DWI? Does he really think I'm drunk?? Oh Lord please help me, pleeeeeease help me! I don't want to go to jail!
"I clocked you going 57 in a 45."
57? How did he did he get me going that fast, I slowed way down before I reached him!
"We have these new fancy-shamancy radars that can get you while you're still behind us."
ooooh, so that explains it
"Do you have your license and registration?"
"Yes officer sir"
Shakily hands officer papers
"How old are you?"
Has to think for a moment
"Um, 22 sir."
"Have any speeding tickets on your record?"
"No sir, I've never had any tickets at all."
Smiles and nods
"That's impressive for being 22."
He smiled, maybe that means I'm not in trouble. God please please please help me!
Cop goes back to car, stays there for an agonizingly lengthy amount of time.
Waits in torment, imagines price of ticket, increase in insurance, wrath of parents...
Sees cop coming back. Please please Please....
"Are you kin to a Randy Clark?"
"Randy?"
"Yeah, from the Centerton unit?"
"Oh. No sir."
"Oh, okay. Well look." Holds out piece of paper. "This is just a warning okay. It's just a piece of paper and it doesn't mean anything, so you can breath alright?"
Let's out long, extended, sigh of relief and smiles.
"Oh, thank you so much sir. I appreciate it soooo much!"
"No problem, you just be careful, okay?"
"Okay, I will I promise. Thank you so much!!!"
And thank you too God, ahhhh thank you thank y ou thank you!!!

If you were wondering, he really did say "fancy shmancy." It was pretty funny, or at least I would have thought so if my financial future hadn't been flashing before my yes. But isn't it crazy how they can clock you from behind? Man, that is so insane. But I guess it's a good thing to know, and thought I would give you guys a heads up. That cop was so nice to me though. I think he could tell that I was one harsh word away from a nervous breakdown. I just might go buy a box of crispy creams and bring them to the station tomorrow to show my undying appreciation.

In fact, since I'm SO thankful, crispy creams for everyone!!

Rockin the suburbs

2005-06-06T20:46:00.000-05:00

Psst...I have a secret. You wanna know what it is? Okay. But you gotta lean in real close to the computer and listen real carefully. Are you ready? Are you sure? You better brace yourself, cause it's a doozy. I hope you're sitting down for this one. Alright alright, here it is comes...

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Dramatic Pause
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Deep Breath
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ROGERS ARKANSAS IS ONE OF THE MOST AGONIZINGLY BORING PLACES IN THE WHOLE WORLD TO SPEND A SATURDAY NIGHT!!!

Okay, so maybe the fact that Benton County isn't the most happening place on the weekends isn't much of a secret afterall. You've got the movie theater and the bowling alley and barnes and noble, but not much more than that. BUT, just because it seems to be lacking of potential, all you really need to have a fabulous time is just a little imagination. And the funny thing is that a night in Rogers usually seems like it's going to be really dry and boring, but sometimes it actually turns out to be one of the most super fantasitc nights ever.

HK Roger, Nicole, Jamie and I took Rogers by storm on Saturday, and I don't think the town was ready for us. Roger was able to borrow his boss' car, a Mazda Rx8, and we took it out for a little joy riding. I even got to drive it myself, which was terrifying considering my driving record and the fact that it belonged to someone I had never even met, but also extremely exhilarating. First we headed off to the Balloon Fest. We had to park at Bentonville High School and take a school bus to the airport. Nicole and I reminisced over school bus memories. It turns out that school bus etiquette is universal. Both of used to sit in the seats and lean our heads against the seat in front of us. I don't know what the real purpose of it was, but I did it all the time. But anyway, it turned out that it was too windy and that they weren't going to fly the balloons so we decided to leave. We went to Johnny Carinos, where Roger asked the waitress for chopsticks. If you have ever wondered, italian restaurants do not keep a ready supply of chopsticks. Haha, silly Roger. But after that, we went back to the high school because Nicole was going to leave us. We got to talking about how funny it would be if her ex-boyfriend saw her driving that car, and that somehow gave us the idea to take a picture of her in it, which somehow turned into a full blown photo shoot. I bet we stood out there taking pictures for at least 30 minutes. I don't know what we were thinking, but it was actually really, really fun.

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Originally uploaded by clclark.

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Originally uploaded by clclark.

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Originally uploaded by clclark.

Next, we thought we'd go ghost hunting and Nicole decided that she'd go with us afterall. We went to the MontNe Inn, an old abandoned hotel that is supposed to be haunted. I'd only been there once before, and had had a weird run in with a crazy night fisherman who kept insisting that we "check out the basement" but Saturday's experience turned out to be far more eerie. Now, I know that I tend to over-embellish details and I know that I'm constantly over-dramanatizing. So in an effort to be completely serious with you, I will only list the facts:

1. We pull into the gravel area on the side of the road where the fence that you have to climb over is
2. We see a truck with its lights on that is sitting on the other side of the parking area
3. We watch the truck for a few minutes to try to figure out what they're doing
4. Truck doesn't move, nor does it turn off its lights
5. We decide it's probably safe to go ahead and get out
6. We turn off the car, turn off the headlights, and step out
7. At that same moment, truck drives up RIGHT NEXT TO US. (It had been relatively far away before) and parks perpendicular to our car
8. Jamie and I stare at car in shock. I wonder if it is just someone to tell us to leave
9. Nicole and Roger are digging for a flashlight in the trunk
10. Interior light of truck is on. Can see man's face. His eyes are glazed over.
11. Guy doesn't move. Keeps hands on wheel. Stares straight at us.
12. Jamie and I decide it's time to go. Scramble in car. Nicole forces Roger in car.
13. Nicole speeds off into safety.

Now, for my interpretation of the facts: It was a psycho serial killer man who was going to follow us into the woods to slay us!!! I'm being serious here. Something wasn't right with him. Would a normal person have pulled right up next to someone's car and just stared them down? No. And if we would have decided to stay out there, I wouldn't be here typing this right now. Oh, and the really bad part is that no one knew we were going out there, and we were driving a car that wasn't ours. So our bodies probably wouldn't have been found for days!!! I'm not over-reacting. I have two other witnesses who will back me up here, and another one who is just either too macho or too naive to realize impending danger when it's (literally) staring him in the face.

After our breathing went back to normal and we regained our composure, we decided we needed to chill and so we went to Andy's to buy frozen custard. Then we just cruised around and enjoyed the stares that come with driving an awesome car. Even though it wasn't ours, it still felt really good. So all in all, it was a pretty fabulous night, despite coming thisclose to becoming a crime statisic.

So. I guess Rogers isn't so bad afterall. I don't think I'll be going back to that hotel ever again, though. You can mark my words on that one.

a week in review

2005-06-06T02:18:00.000-05:00

I had an infinite moment while driving home from church tonight. If you've read Perks of Being a Wallflower, you know what I mean. If you haven't read it well, you should, and that way you too will know what I mean. And maybe I'll seem just a tad less crazy that way.

Ya know, I think that driving down the highway on a cool summer's night has got to be my most favorite thing to do in the whole world. I know that it probably sounds weird because it's such a simple and everyday task and something that most people, including myself, rarely give much thought to. But on nights like these I find myself wishing that I could just drive on forever and feel a kinda sad reluctance once I reach home. A shocking revelation for someone who usually hates driving with intense passion due to her lack of patience and predisposition for severe road rage. But, once in a while, a night comes along where everything just seems too perfect for words. When the sky is in that kinda in-between stage; too late for dusk but not quite night. And when the air is fresh and clean and smelling of rain, and when it's neither too hot nor too cold and you can roll down your windows and open up the sunroof and let your hair tangle in the wind without even caring. When the road is void of other cars and you can set your cruise at 78, turn up the radio, and let loose in your own interpretation of Born to Run. When the test you have on Tuesday and the fact that you're working alone (again) the next day slowly fades away, and, if only momentarily, you feel free and weightless like nothing else in the world exists. Only you, in that moment, and you think to yourself "Could things be any better than this?" Right now I'm wondering if this sounds cheesey or weather or not I'll read this again tomorrow and wonder if I, pulling a Coleridge Kubla Khan type thing, wrote this after awaking from an opium induced sleep. (That was a joke, so feel free to laugh any time.) But I think that everyone can probably relate to this. Everyone has had that rare experience when things were just right and for the moment felt "infinite." I hope so anyway, because it's the best feeling ever.

You know what? I have really great friends, I really do. Tonight I really needed to go home to study after church instead of going out to eat, but my friends know how to reel me in and so coerced me by giving me an offer that I simply couldn't refuse. Red Robin. And even better, free Red Robin. How could I say no to that, right? We ate out on the patio and talked about China and how, contrary to what I had previously believed, they do not eat cats there, they eat dogs. Very weird dinner conversation, yes. But also very hilarious. So, all in all, tonight was a really nice way to end a very hectic week, which involved among other absurdities, a $50 parking ticket, a close encounter with a snake, a mile long journey, mostly uphill, to school while wearing three inch heels, and seeing a bunch of Asian Wal-Mart employees taking pictures of the UA campus like it was some sort of tourist attraction. "Wa Song Ting Yin Yang Wu Nygen Chi Cha" Translation: "Look, it's a bus depot!" All of which occurred during the Wal-Mart shareholders meeting, an event that proved to be so frustrating that if I think about it anymore, I'll probably end up doing something I'd later come to regret. Last night proved to be another interesting spectacle and involved a photo shoot with a Mazda XR-8, a lesson in female anatomy, a close encounter with a serial killer, and a ride on a big yellow school bus. But I shall leave that ordeal for another blog...which will be posted soon as Roger gets around to sending me the pictures. You're dying to hear it I'm sure :-)

so anyway, here's to the moments
Christina

leave the gun, take the cannoli

2005-05-30T23:18:00.000-05:00

Ah, a Godfather reference. That can only mean one thing, right? Yup yup...I have finally freed myself from that gynormous pile of homework and have been able to veg out in front of the tv all afternoon long. Pajamas on, pepsi in hand, Godfather on TV. Yeah, I know it was lazy. But it was my first day off work in the past fifteen. No wait, I was off yesterday. And the Sunday before that. But I have worked every day we have been opened over the past two weeks and
it was Memorial Day. Plus I've been stressed out all week and it's not like I watched TV ALL day. I watched my niece this morning, who had stayed the night, and cooked out with my family, and cleaned too. So no I wasn't a total waste today. (Just in case you were thinking that in your head, and you know you were.)

Anyway, now that I dedicated 43 sentences to why watching a movie should not be considered lazy, as though you cared, I will continue. Terra kindly loaned me her Godfather set and so far I have watched the first one and the first half of the second. And I know that everyone talks about how incredibly horrendous the third one is, but I'm planning on watching it anyway because I find Andy Garcia incredibly sexy. But anyway, I thought I would share a few random observations I have made thus far:

1. Al Pacino...Wow. I did not know that he looked that good back then! I couldn't believe that it was him at first. I was like "THAT gorgeous creature is Al Pacino??" I had to check numerous websites before I could allow myself to become fully convinced. He doesn't look so fabulous now, but back then...mmm, mm. Ciao bello!

2. I once watched a biography on Marlon Brando and it was talking about how he absolutely refused to memorize his lines and that he relied on cue cards throughout his entire career. I made a point to watch for signs of this, but couldn't see it at all. So if he did, he did an awfully good job at it.

And most fascinating of all...

3. The oranges! What's the deal there?? There are oranges EVERYWHERE in both movies! And the more I noticed them, the more I realized that they usually appear near a (dun dun dun) DEATH! Are oranges supposed to symbolize something? Do Italians have some kind of weird fetish for them? Was the local grocery store just having some kind of a bulk sale at the time of filming? The more I thought about it, the more insane it drove me. Until I realized that if I didn't research it and find an answer, it would take over my entire thought process and leave no room for anything else requiring viable brain cells. So I did. But I didn't find an answer. But I DID find several websites discussing the mystery so at least I'm not alone. Phew. But apparently, they DO come into play before a death and I guess the citrus conspiracy continues during the third installment. Still, no conclusive answer as to WHY they are there in the first place. But here is one interesting theory I found:

Indeed - the orange DOES symbolize death/rebirth. It's no accident. It was put there on purpose. No one ever gets it, though. Oranges were a rare, sweet thing in Italy in the 1930's-1950's. Thus rarity = premonition = acceptance = death.

Hmm, I don't know about you. But I do not understand how rarity=premonition=acceptance=death. Can some please explain the formula? Cause they certainly lost me. Someone else started talking about the forbidden fruit and the knowledge of good and evil. Someone else said that a pear was supposed to symbolize the Holy Ghost. (Pear? How did that get thrown in?) Someone else further complicates things by mentioning several instances where people are wearing the color orange. But nothing seemed very logical to me, so maybe there's no real reason. Maybe it was done to confuse people and to make them GO ABSOLUTELY BANANAS! But ya know what? This is it, I'm out. No more talking about oranges, no more thinking about oranges, no oranges as all...capish?

Christina

Ps: I have been fighting with my computer during this entire post because overtype is on. Does anyone know how to turn it off??

a prelude to the chaos

2005-05-17T21:14:00.000-05:00

Misisng: One blog, approximately three months old. Last seen on the night of May the 11th. Distinguishing characteristics include crazy long entires and lots of nonsensical rambling. Very urgent! Could be in serious and immediate danger. Please contact local authorities with any information concerning its whereabouts...

Yeah. Apparently my blog has gone AWOL. I don't know where it went or why it left me, but it has vanished, disappeared, it's lost in the infinite abyss that is cyber space. But :::sigh::: no big deal. I will just rebuild. Build it...and they will come. Or, uhh, hmm...that was really bad wasn't it? Really, reeeeeally bad. Okay, rule number one for my new blog: absolutely no references to any Kevin Costner movie. ESPECIALLY one as bad as Field of Dreams, the "corniest" movie ever. Mwhahha. Okay, so that was even worse. Blog rule number two: No puns allowed.

So I'm really craving a cupcake right now. I can't remember the last time I had one and it's sounding pretty good to me. One of those from Wal-Mart with the big dollop of buttercream frosting that's so humongo that it gets all over your nose. Mmmm, yum...

I'm obviously not right at the moment...
Christina